According to traditional Christian teaching, divorce is an evil which can be justified, if at all, only in rare circumstances, such as when one’s spouse is guilty of adultery. There was a time in our civilization when this Christian teaching about divorce was dominant. Marriage was understood to be a lifelong commitment, and divorce was for the most part regarded as unthinkable. Such a time has long passed. Since the sexual revolution, the divorce rate in our society has skyrocketed, and now all sorts of reasons, including simply feeling unhappy, are widely regarded as good reasons for divorcing one’s spouse. Christians have not been immune to the influence of this cultural change. Divorce rates are now very high even among Christians, and many churches have become increasingly tolerant towards divorce and remarriage. It is important to ask whether the modern Church’s departure from Christian Tradition on this issue is reasonable or acceptable.
Jesus’s Teaching and Divorce
The Old Testament never condemns divorce, but neither does it approve of it. It merely assumes the existence of divorce as a preexisting practice and provides some regulations to prevent the worst abuses of the practice. If a man divorces his wife, he must provide a certificate of divorce, and he cannot marry here again if she marries and is divorced by another man (Deut 24:1-4).
There was some disagreement in the Jewish tradition about whether a man could divorce his wife for any reason, or if he was required to give good grounds for doing so. The Pharisees try to test Jesus by asking him to weigh in on this controversial question (Matt 19:3). Jesus responds by pointing to the creation narrative in Genesis, which speaks of man and wife becoming one flesh (vv. 4-5). “So,” Jesus concludes, “they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (v. 6). When the Pharisees object that Moses allowed divorce, Jesus responds, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way in the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery” (v. 7-9).
The Pharisees try to argue for the legitimacy of divorce by pointing out that Moses allowed it, but Jesus points to the more fundamental teaching of Moses about marriage in the creation story in order to argue for the permanence of marriage. From Jesus’s perspective, marriage is not merely a human social construct or a contract between two people. Rather, it is a Divinely created institution that involves a real spiritual union between husband and wife which makes them, in some sense, “one flesh.” Thus, if a man declares that he is divorcing his wife and writes a certificate of divorce, this is merely a legal fiction; from God’s perspective, he is still married to, still “one flesh” with, his wife, and so if he takes another woman, this is equivalent to adultery. It seems very clear from Jesus’s teaching here that divorce, or at least divorce followed by marrying someone else, is inherently a very serious sin.
Recently, some have tried to offer a revisionist interpretation of Jesus’s teaching on divorce, arguing that Jesus does not condemn divorce per se. They point to Jesus’s teaching on divorce in Matthew 5:32, where Jesus says, “Anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery [or, “makes her the victim of adultery”].” Jesus, they argue, was not absolutely prohibiting divorce; he was protesting the harm, abuse, and exploitation often done to women by divorce. Since a single woman had few options economically in Jesus’s day, a divorced woman would probably have no choice but to remarry. Rather than condemning a woman who does so, Jesus lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of the husband who abandoned her. Thus, some argue, we should not have a problem with divorce if that is what will make both parties happy; we should only condemn divorce when it is harmful to women.
However, this revisionist interpretation does not work. If Jesus’s problem with divorce was that it involved abandoning a woman in need, then He never would have said, “Anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matt 5:32; Luke 16:18). Rather, He would have praised the man who came to the aid of an abandoned woman to provide for her and support her. It is true that Jesus’s teachings about divorce are mostly focused on the responsibility and the guilt of the man, but in the Gospel of Mark Jesus also declares, “If she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery” (10:12), showing that women can be just as guilty as men in the matter of divorce. Jesus’s fundamental problem with divorce is not that it involves abandoning women in need; His fundamental problem with divorce is that it violates the fact that God has joined husband and wife together as “one flesh.” To divorce one’s spouse and marry someone else is, according to Jesus, adultery.
Jesus does, however, include an exception clause, “except for sexual immorality,” as part of His teachings on divorce in Matthew (though not in Mark or Luke). The term “sexual immorality” (Greek: porneia) here is vague. Many interpret it as referring to adultery. On this interpretation, the meaning is that, if one’s spouse is guilty of adultery, one is free of guilt if one divorces them and marries someone else, since they have violated and broken the marriage union through their adulterous actions (This would not mean that one is required to divorce one’s spouse if they are guilty of adultery, only that one is justified in doing so).
Others, however, argue that porneia is typically not used to refer to adultery, and if Jesus intended to refer to adultery, He would have used the word “adultery” (Greek: moicheia). Therefore, they argue, we should understand the reference to “sexual immorality” here as referring to incest. The meaning of Jesus’s teaching here would be that a marriage can only legitimately be dissolved if it is discovered that the marriage was incestuous.
It is true that porneia is not typically used to refer to adultery (the terms are listed separately in Matthew 15:19 and Mark 7:21-22). However, the case where a married couple later discovers that they are close relatives would seem to be such a rare occurrence that it would be strange for Jesus to mention it if that was His only meaning. It is possible that Jesus deliberately used the vague term “sexual immorality” here to refer to both adultery and incest as grounds for divorce.
Paul’s Teaching and Divorce
In I Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul addresses various issues surrounding marriage, including divorce. He reiterates Jesus’s teaching: “A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife” (vv. 10-11). Here Paul seems to recognize that there are situations where a separation between husband and wife may be necessary. However, following Jesus’s teaching, Paul forbids marrying another if this occurs. Even if a husband and wife separate, and even if they are legally “divorced,” they are, according to Jesus, still “one flesh,” still married in God’s eyes, and so marrying another in this situation would be adultery.
The apostle Paul goes on to address a situation Jesus never addressed: what if a Christian is married to a non-Christian? In this situation, the apostle Paul teaches, the Christian should remain married to their spouse, “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace” (I Cor 7:12-15). This fits with Paul’s broader teaching that we cannot judge people outside the Church or expect non-Christians to live like Christians (I Cor 5:9-13). It is unclear if Paul considers the abandoned Christian in this situation to be free to remarry or not. However, if, according to Jesus, adultery provides legitimate grounds for divorce, and if, in this situation, the non-Christian spouse goes off and marries someone else, then clearly in this situation at least the abandoned Christian would be free to divorce them and marry another.
Conclusion
It is very clear from the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ and the apostle Paul that Christians should consider divorce to be justified only in rare circumstances. On the most restrictive interpretation, divorce and remarriage is only allowed if there is an incestuous marriage. On the broadest interpretation, divorce and remarriage are also allowed if one’s spouse has committed adultery or if one is abandoned by a non-Christian spouse.
Many modern Christians have sought to add additional reasons that justify divorce to this list, such as abuse, alcoholism, and drug addiction. This is highly dubious. As noted above, Paul does recognize that there are situations where a married couple may need to separate (spousal abuse would obviously fall under this category). But this is not the same thing as a divorce which gives one freedom to marry someone else. If we take seriously Jesus’s teaching about the permanence of the Divine institution of marriage, we should resist creating extrabiblical reasons for justifying divorce. We should return to the traditional Church teaching that divorce is justified only in cases of incest, adultery, or abandonment by a non-Christian spouse.
The traditional Christian concept of marriage as two people making a covenant commitment to be faithful to one another “for better or for worse, till death do us part” has effectively been replaced in our society by a commitment to be faithful “as long as it makes me happy.” This is egregious. The purpose of Christian marriage is not feeling happy. The purpose of Christian marriage is for two people to demonstrate covenant faithfulness to one another in a way that models the love and covenant faithfulness God demonstrates to His covenant people.
In order to understand what it is like for God to love His covenant people, the prophet Hosea had to marry an unfaithful wife and choose to be faithful to her, in spite of the pain caused by her unfaithfulness. Similarly, married Christians must choose to be faithful to their marriage vows, even in times of difficulty and unhappiness. They must choose to love their spouses, even if they would be happier divorcing them and marrying someone else. They must resist our culture of shallow marriage commitments and easy divorce and instead live lives of godly love and faithfulness.